I also say, Happy Birthday to her, for today is her birthday.

I suppose you will have noticed that these birthday tributes have become a sort of staple around here. What you would never know, unless you were Louise, is that she did one such tribute for me ever so many years ago on her blog. She had a blog L O N G before I even knew what a blog was and she sent me some serious love via that blog of hers.

It is from the seed of love that she planted for me many moons ago that so many other flowers have  bloomed in the form of birthday tributes here on Dawsome. Thank you, my dear friend, for what your kindness has inspired.

So, to the originator of the birthday tribute, “Here’s looking at you, kid.”

A while back I asked Louise what her exact birthday was because, OF COURSE, I was planning on sending her some birthday love. She very humbly told me not to worry about doing this but then went on to ask if I would please write a tribute for her funeral! Oh, dear, NO! There is no way that  I am going to wait till you are dead to let the world know what an awesome lady you are.

This got me thinking, it is a shame that we wait until someone dies to express our deepest feelings for them. In fact, I will go further, it is a shame whenever we resist the urge to express our love to anyone. Let the world take note: expressing love is always an act of courage. And when we hold back love, we hold back the best thing we have to offer each other.

So, dearest, English Rose, my sweet Louise – prepare yourself for some L O V E !!! (you have been warned – I plan to lay it on thick, but I won’t cry into your neck or anything that extreme remembering always that you are English).

Louise has one of the world’s most remarkable memories. She remembers E V E R Y T H I N G. And when I say everything, I mean everything. She remembers dates, poetry, scriptures – it is remarkable. She is just the person you want to have around if the Gettysburg address needs remembering, or a Shakespearean sonnet. I don’t know how she does it, but I, a person who cannot remember from week to week what I have committed myself to doing – be it play dates or dates with my husband – Louise, on the other end of the spectrum has committed the entire dictionary to memory. She is an absolute wonder!

Speaking of this remarkable gift – she has taken her talents – the aforementioned great memory,her smart as a whip-ness, incredible organization, and downright professionalism and made a career of them. She is a top dog personal assistant for the tippity-top dogs themselves.  She has run hotels, taken care of famous peeps, thrown a “hen party” for Joan Collins, and kept the guys in pin striped suits on time.  I wish that I could hire her to run my life for me.  I KNOW she would make it run perfectly. She would make it hum like a fancy engine.

She is a person who lives very close to the Spirit of the Lord. She cares deeply about his will for her. She lives in a very deliberate way so that she can merit His guidance. Once she gets the direction, she follows it.  More than once she’s taught me, through her example, about the kind of person I would like to be. She is patient. Patient and willing to learn the lessons that he would have her learn.

She has a buoyant disposition. At her core she is positive. This makes her an absolute pleasure to be around. Added to this, she has a laugh the size of KENT! If an opera singer can fill the Royal Albert Hall with their singing pipes, Lou could do the same with her laugh. She throws her head back and lets it go, friends! I love it. I think it is a mark of her ability to truly enjoy life.

She is a wonderful contradiction of English propriety – beautifully genteel, sweet and reserved – and an absolute hoot!! She has got ZIP, people, with a capital Z! She can have fun with the best of them.

Louise has a very kind and loving nature. She is an appreciator. She notices things and loves to delight in even the simple daily pleasures that life offers. She is also extremely bright, or clever, as they say on the other side of the pond and a very talented writer.

She is a wonderful wife. I love what a mutual friend of ours said to her on the day she married Jonathon. This friend was single at the time and he said to Louise, ” Johnathon is the luckiest man in the world.” He added that Jonathon would only remain the luckiest man in the world until he got married — single and funny, he was! But I must say that I just loved the sentiment he expressed because it is true. Jonathon married one of the kindest most selfless women on the planet. She is SO incredibly giving. I will forever remember at the height of her mono she ran us back and forth from one end of London to another helping us move stuff in her teeny-weeny little car. You are an angel, Lou – you really are.

She is also a whop-dinger of a mom. Completely devoted to her darling little girl – she is rocking the house in the mommy department! Not too long ago Louise and Jonathon were visiting us and they are so kind to each other and enjoyed each other so much – and they were so excited to have a baby. I remember thinking I cannot wait for these two people to have kids – they will be such a powerful team. Alas, I have not had the chance to meet dear Adelaide but I keep a careful watch on her through her mommy’s blog.  One day! I hope soon we’ll finally get to meet this beguiling little fascinator! I feel confident that she gets what I call a “love shower” every day of her life – her mom, dad and extended family just pour the love down on this kid!

And look at her! What is not to love?! I’m in love with her too and I have never even met her.

Another thing I love about Louise is her open nature. She has always been aware and connected to her feelings.  I have  been impressed with her ability to analyze her deepest emotions. I am not saying that she is an open book, she keeps her cards close – but I really appreciate her ability to be aware of her feelings and her willingness to examine them. She does this a lot on her blog – and this is the main way that she and I stay in touch – so I am grateful for her honesty and openness.

Louise is a devoted friend. She is the kindest and best friend. I have never heard anyone say anything negative about her. She is so kind to everyone she knows – nobody has any dirt on her!

She is also a person who has overcome many challenges in her life and remained lighthearted and cheerful – you know that wonderful quote, “angels fly because they take themselves lightly” – that has always reminded me of Louise.

Sometimes I think you are too good to be true! You are loved by your friend Liza and I know I am one of a multitude of people who simply adore you.

Happy Birthday, my wonderful friend!!

Do you think that marriage, as an institution, ROCKS?

Do you love to see a happy marriage on the silver screen?

How about romance?

How about watching people learn to trust each other and sacrifice for the good of the other?

And beautiful costumes, good acting, some dashed fine British accents?

If you, like me, answered “yes, please” to any of the above items, do get yourself, and the one you love, to the cinema PRONTO to see —

I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

And if you love it, please call me so that we  can GUSH about it together….pretty please!

Tonight as I nursed my baby she fell asleep in my arms. (Yes, I am still nursing, feel free to judge me harshly – I don’t care!)

She is no longer my tiny baby – her body spills out of my lap and her legs dangle down the side of the arm chair, but she is all the baby I’ve got – gigantic or no.

As I held her warm body next to mine I wanted to stop time.

What is it that is so magic about a sleeping baby?

Only moments ago she was ALL ENERGY, MOVEMENT, EXPLORATION, and even CREATOR OF TOTAL CHAOS.

And then –

she is still and her body is heavy.

I pressed my forehead against hers and listened to her deep breathing.

I whispered secrets in her ear.

I kissed her

and then I kissed her some more.

I marveled at her – this petite person – with a HUGE spirit and a personality I am just getting to know.

Sweet dreams, you little rascal.

My sister Tess is 19 today. Her last year of being a teenager. Crazy, huh Tess?

I have posted many times about Tess as she was living with us last Summer. Here, here, here and here.

But if you’ll permit me, I would like to tell you a bit more about her. Because, to be frank, I love her. And celebrated she must be!

I have very vivid memories of Tess’ arrival to the earth – and as I tell you some of these details I think you will see why they are still so close to my heart…19 long years later.

I remember my mom going off the the hospital. I remember Cameron trying to crack jokes as she climbed into our mini van. My mom was so focused on the labor that she didn’t even hear him. He and I watched as mom and dad pulled out of the driveway and Cam mumbled under his breath, “I was so stupid! That didn’t help at all.” I remember lying in my bed that night – my twin bed across from Summer’s – with an unexplainable feeling of unease. I felt that something was wrong. Why I would feel such a way was a mystery to me. Tess was the eighth child to join our family. I usually felt only anticipation and joy in these circumstances. So this darker feeling felt so wrong to me.  I was relieved when we got the call that the baby had been born and that all was well.

But the uneasy feeling remained.

Tess came home and was a delightful baby – but still, the feeling persisted – and finally it got to be so bad that I spoke to my mom about it. Because my mom is a rock star of a mom she listened and she did something about it. Imagine that, giving that much attention and credence to a 13 year old girl. She spoke to my dad and he gave Tess a blessing. He said that as he blessed her he could feel power flowing through him to his tiny baby girl.

A few days later my mom took Tess to her one week doctors check up. She hadn’t always been this diligent with getting her newborn babies to the pediatrician. At this appointment the doctor heard a murmur in her heart. This was the beginning of a time that my mom describes as otherworldly. A waiting time. Everything stopped – although the world carried on around us – for our family everything stood still.

There were problems with her heart. Big problems. A surgery would be needed and fast. The future was uncertain. Mom and Tess moved into a hospital room which they shared with another family who had a baby with a sick heart. A baby who died.

A friend at church came up to me in the hallway and asked me, “Is your sister going to die?” I don’t think he was being callous, I think he just wanted to understand. We all did. For the first time in my life it hit me: babies do die.  I mean I knew this in a cerebral way – but I had never really had to face this awful reality. Some babies really don’t make it and would my sister be one of them?

Here is the craziest part. As all the horrible reality of her serious health condition came to light – the uneasy feeling started to leave – and another feeling made its way into my heart. A feeling of peace. I still remember how it came.  I was in my bedroom thinking about my baby sister – in the hospital – praying for her, and wondering what would happen. I was putting something away in my closet and I felt the most beautiful peace wash over me. I felt that my grandmother’s spirit was standing next to me and the message that came to my heart was “everything will be fine.”

I am here to say that message was true.

Tess is still with us.

And Tess ROCKS!!

She is a beautiful contradiction.

Of all the kids in our family Tess is, by far, the most social. If you had told me this when she was little I wouldn’t have believed it b/c she was so painfully shy. But now, she has a billion friends. I can’t keep track of all of them. She has an ease with people. I think she doesn’t judge people by what is on the surface. She really sees them for their whole selves and she loves the best in people.  She doesn’t sweat the small stuff. She takes life as it comes and really enjoys it. She is really laid back and yet she is totally responsible. She has FUN. She just knows how to have good clean fun. People are drawn to her.

As a little girl she was the MOST SHY of any of us. She would hide in the closet when company came over. When she got dressed for church and be looking her very cutest she didn’t want ANY attention. “Don’t look at me!!” She would say in complete earnestness. She was incredibly self aware and a bit nervous.

These days I’ve often wondered, “Does Tess ever worry?” I mean, she must. But I don’t think she worries very much. She just goes with the flow. If she has been asked to go to a dance – she is always so busy with other things she doesn’t mind my mom going out, and picking the dress out for her. Talk about NOT sweating the details!!   And yet she feels things very, very deeply. In the few times when I have seen her let her emotions out – it is like a tidal wave of deep, deep feelings. The waters may seem still but under them there is  movement, energy and mystery.

When she lived with us, and was helping me with the girls, I was really impressed by how even tempered she was. There were times when I was under pressure and very uptight. She just rode out all my passionate responses to the difficult situations with kindness and calm.

She enjoys life. She works at making positive changes in her life. She listens to advice and takes it to heart. She is appreciative and kind. She is hard worker.

She is also NUTS. In a good way. She knows how to have fun! And LOTS of it!

We also call her the niece and nephew whisperer. She is so great with the little kids in our fam.

She is such a good sport. She is a great listener. She is a great contributor (although as a kid she somehow always managed to get out of working when we were all cleaning up the house together). Oh, and one legendary thing Tess did along these lines was, once in primary, they were making Christmas coupons – where the kids would write down what they would do to serve and help and then the parents could redeem the coupons as needed. Tess famously wrote in the blank,

“I will help my mom and dad_____________” she filled in the blank by saying “I will help my mom and dad open soda.” Nice! So nice to know that when those soda cans needed opening Tess would be there to help the process along. My mom loved this so much that she left this little coupon taped to the fridge for months.

As a little girl she was VERY forthright. She just said it however she saw it. Sometimes this worked for her and sometimes this worked very much against her. Once someone tooted and as a tiny little girl she said, “Somebody smell bad!” She was right. And it was so funny. We borrow her saying to this very day in our family – when somebody smells bad.

(May I suggest you click on this photo to get a good look at Tess’ expression. It is SO Tess at that age! – somebody smell bad and she ain’t going for whatever it is that Brynn is offering!!)

Tess is very tech-y. She is a whiz when it comes to the technical side of life. Oohh! How she appreciates a good gadget and boy, does she know her way around a computer.

Tess is something of a romantic. She loves the romantic movies – and the cute boys. Despite the fact that she is rather no-nonsense she is still rather girly. The heart that beats within her – that heart that was saved – is full of feminine sweetness.

It is heart full of love for her family and friends.

A heart full of joy and wonder.

A heart that has embraced the gospel of Jesus Christ.

It is a heart that I adore!

Happy Birthday, Tess!

How can I ever find the words to express my gratitude to God that your life was spared.

That your heart beats on.

And that we get to enjoy you every day – and even take for granted your light and goodness.

I love you, little sis. Happy, happy birthday to YOU!

My big brother Cameron is one of my heroes.

I love him more than I can say.

Cameron has always been shrouded in mystery. I remember, at a very young age, longing to go where he went, do what he did, and drink in every word he said and copy every move he made. I have never asked him, but I wonder if he just wished I would stop bugging him.

Cameron has always been independent and rather private. I know he is vulnerable, because he is a human being – but he never seemed vulnerble to me. He seemed untouchable.

I actually owe my life to him, in fact make that I owe my life to him squared. Allow me to explain:

The first time Cam saved my life was when I got trapped in the dryer. This is a long story for another post, but, in brief, I was playing with my sibs,  the dryer had a glass door which made for the perfect space ship. I was the playing the astronaut – (it really is a dangerous line of work even when you are only PRETENDING to be one) and after we counted down the dryer door slammed shut and the cycle automatically began. There was no handle on the door, it was an old machine so there was no way for my younger sibs to get me out. They ran to tell our parents who just ignored them but Cam decided he would check out what was going on. Guess what he saw when he peered into that dryer — well it weren’t no dryer sheets, I can tell you that. It was his sister Liza – wearing an expression of total fear!!! He took the screw driver that was used as a handle, pried the door open and saved my young life.

The second time he saved me was when I was standing on the kitchen counter and reaching for something in a cupboard above the stove – that was ON – and my long dress caught on fire. I panicked, but Cam with his classic cool, took my burning dress and doused the flames – like it was NOTHING!

Cameron was born to be a man. I think he was never quite happy until he was a grown up man. And what a man he is! Honest, kind, sensitive, loving, good to the core, hard working, talented, funny, patient and downright unique!

Some of the many things that I most cherish about Cameron are:

His sense of humor. In a world where humor seems to be used as a weapon, Cameron uses humor as a bridge and as a connector. I really noticed this when I took a writing class with him a few years ago. You know how there is always a “funny guy”? Well, Cam was one of our funny guys. He always had the entire class laughing, sometimes crying we were laughing so hard. But he never mocked anyone. He was never cynical or cruel or trying to be cool – the laughter he created was out of love and kindness. When he was in class there was a feeling of celebration and complete JOY.

I also cherish the way he respects the priesthood of God. There are few people whom I know who pray like Cameron does. We pray so much in our faith there is a tendency to rattle off hollow prayers – but not Cameron, every time he prays I can feel him reaching out towards heaven. It always makes me want to be more courageous and more committed in my prayers when I hear him pray. He also gives powerful blessings. I have been blessed to receive some of the most beautiful blessings by his hand.

He is a wonderful father and husband. I especially love to watch him interacting with his son. He is so patient and so good. Cam and Nikki are impressive parents. Their son has a wonderful, bright and lively personality – that is enhanced by the beautiful training he has received. I just love that little guy. Nature and nurture are working out beautifully in their Harlem crib! I still remember how relaxed and chilled out he and his wife Nikki were right after John was born. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen.

He is a very, very hard worker. He puts in those crazy New York hours just like my dad did. And he is always doing favors for friends and helping people out. I don’t know how he finds time to do all the good that he does. A major contributor to his ability to do so much is his wife Nikki. I have been so impressed with the way she simultaneously supports him and challenges him to reach higher. They are a great team.

He is wonderfully talented – in a myriad of ways – but I especially love his screen writing. His screen play was one of the very strongest in our class. People were blown away by it.

He is one FIT BLOKE! The guy is turning 34 and has NO FAT around his middle!!! He bikes and runs and eats farm fresh food thanks to his lovely wife Nikki. I really admire and wish I could better emulate his healthy lifestyle. He also has a great bum, just ask Ian! (Inside JOKE!!!)

Cameron can also “sleep it off” with the best of them. If he needed to the man could lie down on the stone floor of Grand Central station at rush hour and fall asleep. I don’t think he has ever come over to any house that Jan and I have lived in and not done this crazy thing he does where he just lays on the floor – kids crawling around, and pandemonium everwhere and just fallen asleep. It is a real gift, crazy, but ever so useful.

I love you so much, Cam! Right down to your tapered khakis!

Happy birthday!!

I don’t know how this happened but I missed my sister’s birthday. Well, I didn’t miss it exactly. I have a lovely gift for her here, made by Johnny Boden’s peeps, and I spoke to her the day after her birthday (as I was traveling across a large body of water on her actual birthday without a blanket or pillow) so those bases were covered. But to my horror I woke up the other morning to the realization that she did not get a birthday shout out  on Ye Olde Dawesome.

Forgive me, dear sister. You of all people – one of the truest followers of this little blog- should be highlighted here on dawesome.

Brynn was born the day after Christmas. When my mom carried her though the door she was wrapped up in a huge stocking. If someone were to ask me what the best Christmas present I ever received – without hesitation I would say, that my best present came the day after Christmas -in the form of my little stocking stuffer of a sister Brynnie – winny!

Brynn, simply put,  is one of my favorite people in the universe. She is talented, funny, bright, deep, good, beautiful, stylish, interesting, kind, and true. If you know her no doubt you’d be nodding your head. Perhaps an “amen” might have escaped your lips?

Brynn is the middle child which is to say she is SMACK DAB in the middle of a line up of NINE children. Every time I hear talk of “middle children” in general terms they always sound such a sad and pathetic lot. I have never understood this middle child phenomenon because of my beyond wonderful sister Brynn. When she was three years old she was such a hoot that she inspired a short documentary. STARING BRYNN & ALL ABOUT BRYNN. Just to give you a sampling of  the content of this film at one point Brynn has a glass of “bubbly” while taking a bubble bath and ends the film by lip synching to Aretha Franklin’s RESPECT. Oh, how I wish I could show it to you, but it is only on a VHS tape. Boo!

When Brynn was a little girl her favorite thing to wear was a filmy pink negligee with spaghetti straps. The straps had to be tied in knots so that she could be covered up on top and not be constantly tripping over her choice of wardrobe and yet, it still trailed on the ground. I swear she wore that thing ever day for a year. I will forever have this image of her in the pink nightie wearing a boa. That is my sister B R Y N N, my friends.

Brynn was a force to be reckoned with, I tell ya! Just ask her brother Chas. He can tell you A L L about it. Boy! Did she know her mind. Middle child my foot! If you’d asked her she was running the show! Or at the very least she was running Chas’ life. “Come on, honey” she would say to him as she dragged him with her on all of her adventures. Oh, the times that were had!

Brynn was a  scrapper. Once my mom was telling her off and called her by name, to which Brynn replied, “My name is not Brynn! My name is”Brynnie-Winny”!

That scrapper of a little girl, our dear feisty middle child, would be put to the test. All that gusto would be challenged. And for a brief time — that UGLIEST time of life known as MIDDLE SCHOOL — there were moments when we wondered if we’d lost her under a tidal wave of coolness.

Brynn was very popular. She had been running with the popular crowd since kindergarten. Which was okay until they started drinking, smoking, carrying on and shoplifting. Brynn’s friends became her whole world. She preferred them over our family — a great rift began to separate her from us and I believe from her truest and best self.

But by God’s grace she did the impossible. She realized what was happening, withdrew herself and her allegiances from the cool crowd, the result of which meant her facing their total and utter rejection. Meaning they completely STOPPED talking to her or even looking at her. This was in a small school with a small class of about 50 kids total. You couldn’t just drop your group of friends and then start afresh with another group. Your group of friends was your whole world and there was no jumping from one group to another. So from that point on she didn’t have any friends – and she took the road less traveled.  The lonely road that goodness sometimes demands of those of us who are brave enough to take it. By some fateful chance I was living at home when this all happened. And I watched as she endured this time of heart ache. I also watched as miracles happened after the trial of her faith. The first miracle was that she was accepted into another school – and then a year later when my parents could no longer afford the tuition – an ANONYMOUS patron paid for half of her tuition. It was like something out of a novel!

I have REALLY good news – all that wonderful, bubbly, feisty, personality lives on in the elegant and refined woman who now wears a “Mrs” in front of her name.

Brynn is one of the most delightful people you will ever have the chance to talk to. She listens with intense energy. She has strong feelings about things which she will share with loving kindness.

She is a fantastically talented writer. If you read this blog you will have seen her insightful and beautiful comments. I wish she had a blog filled with her writing that I could link to right HERE. But alas, I have not been able to convince her how much the world needs her voice. (If you know her writing and would like to join me in my efforts to persuade her to get her stuff into the public domain, let me know and I’ll send you a “Brynn was born to BLOG” pin!)

Brynn is FUNNY. As in laugh till you pee your pants funny. She was in that BYU comedy troupe called Divine Comedy and I think she was swell, if you must know.

She is also a terrific actress. She can play an old Irish lady or a ditzy blonde to perfection. She is goooood people, and when I say good I mean GOOD! She is the self-proclaimed “Julia Roberts” of BYU – meaning she doesn’t “audition” she is asked to star in things. She has even been someone’s MUSE. But don’t get me wrong, acting goddess she may be, but one of her favorite characters to perform is a girl with a lazy-eye. Multi-faceted and mysterious! That is my Brynn.

She is married to a wonderful fellow, Ben. Together they make the most fantastic team. When they show up I’ve noticed that people smile more, and enjoy life more. Might be their general gusto rubbing off on those around them? Personally I think they are just magic together!

Finally I want to tell you one of the reasons I most love and admire my sister. She has struggled with a chronic illness for years. It has taken a huge toll on her. It has changed her life – in both negative and positive ways. Throughout this ongoing struggle she has remained positive, and downright delightful. I am not saying there haven’t been moments of true despair, darkness and struggle – it has been a challenge in the truest sense of the word. But she has kept and continues to keep her chin up. For this reason and for so many many more I love her very much.

In my opinion she is TOP DRAWER!

Happy (*belated) Birthday to you, my Brynn!

*P.S. “If your elder sister has offended think on your patent leather Boden loafers and all is mended.” I HOPE!

we.  are.  hashed.

If we were potatoes we’d be hashed browns.

This is Millie on New Year’s Eve Day.

Guess how late we stayed up on New Year’s Eve?

We made it until 9:30, which was actually 3:00 according to our body clocks.

Happy New Year!

As I type I hear a loud hissing noise.

It is the sound of home.

It is the sound our heater makes as it  warms up this little house that stood vacant for the last seven days as we frolicked in that “Green and Pleasant Land” known as England.

I will tell you of this day of travel — because most of it was blog worthy, and not in a pretty and quaint way – I mean blog worthy in a horrible way — when I have the energy and strength to revisit it.

For now, please feel free to enjoy this post I wrote a few weeks ago and never actually posted. I was going to call it,

“The Agony & The Ecstasy”

Without further ado, here it is —

Christmas Cards!

The Agony:

picking the perfect pictures, picking the perfect card, emailing your mom 100 different options to get her opinion, trying to decide which one to go with, the clock ticking, updating your address list then losing the updated list three times, trying to get the card out before Dec. 25th…wondering all the while, “did I pick the right card?” and as you address hundreds of cards you think, “WHY do I do this to myself?!”

The Ecstasy:

Receiving all your family & friends’ Christmas cards in the mail.

Do you too experience the agony and the ecstasy of Christmas cards?

I fret over mine.

And we are talking serious fret-age.

I was talking to my friend on the phone about our Christmas cards and she and I were ready to throw our hands up in the air and just BAG IT this year. But then we realized, “You know how you are going to feel the moment that first Christmas card comes through the letter box….”  JOY! Christmas cheer! Happiness with a capital “H”!

So the cards are in the mail, my friends.

This will reveal the depth of my sentimentality but…

I always mourn the cards that did not make the cut.  I know, it is silly – but I always wish I could send out 10 different cards. I don’t because I would end up driving myself totally bonkers.

Then it hit me, I have a blog!  I don’t have to mourn the cards that never made it to your front doors – I can just show them to you, right here in this very spot!

Without further ado, here are the cards you WONT be getting from the Dawson Fam this year —

These ones I made on Tiny Prints…

We always have a million great pictures of the girls and a handful of good ones of Jan with the girls and me with the girls, but I’ll be darned if we could ever get one with all of us looking smashing together. So this year I toyed with the idea of doing one these collage photo cards, but I don’t know – I just got tired of trying to fill all the boxes in with the right pictures. This only added to the Christmas card agony.

I discovered another cool website, a lot like Tiny Prints, called Minted and these are the ones I put together from that site –

This one with the polka dots was almost this year’s card. Oh, this card is so CUTE! But in the end I went with something that was MUCH cheaper than this option…practicality won the day this year.

And there you have it!

Now that you have seen all these beauties, I hope you wont be too disappointed with the Snapfish card you’ll be receiving shortly.

Dang! I am starting to get an anxiety attack that I picked the wrong card…

too late now!

I don’t remember being born

Nothing before five

And even then my memory’s patchy

***

I don’t remember when

I stopped believing

It was possible to fly

If I believed enough

***

I remember

I wanted to talk to the animals

And would hold very still

And listen

***

But I don’t remember why

I quieted the child desires

That followed me like the tail of a star

From heaven

***

But it doesn’t really matter

Because when I gave You my heart

You gave it back to me

With all its child desires intact

***

And I remembered

The power of purity

And saw another star with a tail

Shining over the place

Which you had chosen

With animals and flying people all around

***

Thank you for this

Beautiful birth

Sweet Jesus

***

— by Summer Kelly Pixton

“Nativity” by Brian Kershisnik

This poem, written by my sister and this painting by one of my favorite artists, Brian Kershisnik, are two of my most favorite expressions of love for the Savior and his miraculous birth.

I would like to add my testimony to Summer’s and Brian’s.

Sometimes I cannot believe that the creator of the earth and sky came to here to this place, to our corner of the universe, in a tiny baby body. That his sweet mother held him next to her, looked into his eyes and for a moment he belonged only to her. That he would leave his majestic throne to become completely vulnerable, a babe in arms; to take on flesh, in the same manner that we do, so that he could understand what we go through, so that he could succor us, and ultimately save us – is miraculous beyond words.

I know it happened. I know it in the deepest part of me. I don’t just hope it happened. I know it happened.The evidence of his existence is all around me. His love is a constant force in my life. I know he was born. I know he lived, and died, and that he lives today.

I love him and am grateful to him. Grateful for his birth. Grateful for his life. Grateful for his atoning sacrifice. Grateful for his mercy, his patience, and his boundless love.

Today Clara decided that she was anti-sleep. If she has a rough day, guess who else has a rough day too…

But don’t cry for me Argentina – despite it all I found a moment to sneak away and enjoy a little time by myself. I walked through the village of Freshford, and drank in the quaintness of it all. I think this village is a rather cozy little spot, but I tell you what, on Christmas Eve it seems all the cozier. If you can believe that!

Something about seeing smoke rising up from the cottage chimneys, catching a glimpse of the twinkling Christmas lights from within softly lit houses just makes my little heart flutter. If I were to stumble upon a magic bottle and a genie were to grant me a wish I think I would ask for an all access pass to peek into these sweet little homes and have a look at what was going on. You know, in the spirit of A Christmas Carol…

This afternoon I was content enjoying my street side view and imagining all the goodness that might be taking place within.

Check out the door knocker on this little cottage, it is a fox.

smoke from the chimney

I walked past one stone house where the windows were right at my eye level. I could see a beautiful dining room chandelier and the table had a beautiful flower arrangement. It glowed! My whole heart wanted to capture it on film, but knew it wasn’t the right thing to do…I wish you could have seen it. It felt so warm and inviting.

As I can’t let you into other people’s houses I can let you peek into mine…

Millie and Granny make play dough Christmas ornaments together.

Just about the only thing that Clara has eaten while we’ve been here. Thank goodness for the yogurt!

Millie enjoys Papa’s fire.

Millie waiting in the wings to perform her Christmas Eve program.

Performing the songs she wasn’t able to sing with her classmates because we were here when her pre-school Christmas concert took place. Please note her choice of costume:  her new Christmas Eve “concert pajamas” and of course, her antlers.

Even the simplest day can be full of so much – as I consider this day there were moments of sheer bliss and moments of pure frustration and within a 24 hour period they get all crammed up together.

I think the beauty of having a place, like this blog, provides an opportunity to take stock.  To remember all the good there is in life. Although there were some very discouraging and trying moments having to do with Clara’s sleep (or the lack thereof) there were so many more moments of connection and happiness and there is just so much BEAUTY all around.

Totally off the subject I’d like to say that tonight I am missing this craziness…

I am not sure that I could even explain it if I tried.

Of all the crazy Kelly traditions this one is, without a doubt the craziest!

You just have to experience it to understand it.

I will say this, I love my wild and wonderful brothers.