Of the bunk bed.

I mean, as a kid, sure! I loved a bunk bed – what kid doesn’t want a bunk bed? Millie is dying for one.

They are oh.so.practical – but not very charming or romantic or in my snotty opinion aesthetically pleasing.

Are you with me on this one?

Maybe not.

You may be with me on this but saying, “Lize, come on! Sometimes you just NEED a bunk bed and you gotta do it!” You may also be saying, “You are such a snob! Who doesn’t love a good old bunk bed?!”

There was a brief time when I shared a bunk bed with three other siblings, meaning two on the top bunk and two on the bottom bunk…perhaps this is why I have a small aversion to the b.b.? Hmmm. This is fodder for a therapist (if only I had one) and not a blog post, says I!

My point is this: we live in a small three bed house and the day may come that we NEED a bunk bed because I never want to leave my small three bed room house yet we would like to have more than two children.

The good news is that since seeing these….

I am beginning to re-think the bunk bed.

I could do these bunk beds!

In fact, we could have two more children and squeeze them all into one bedroom if we went with the last photo.

Sweetness!

I snagged these beauties from a website called little green notebook. She has got some other cute ones that you can check out, if you feel so inclined!

{To the tune of “Swanee”}

Sammy! How I love ya, How I love ya. My dear old Sammy!

‘Tis my sister-in-law’s birthday today and I am here to tell you that she is one fine woman.

Her fineness is far reaching and all encompassing.

I met her when she was around 10 years old. She was a great girl. She was good and sweet and, at the time, a little shy. She was under a lot of pressure having moved to the urban wilderness called New York from the desert paradise called Utah. Not every gentle Mormon girl has to go to a Jr. High where girls her age are having sex in the bathroom during school. I hate to be so crude, but it what she was dealing with – and it wasn’t very nice! But she got through the mess of Jr. high a la NY. She survived some crazy New York experiences and also had some downright wonderful times too. Then her family moved back to UT when she was in her mid teens. Sam’s mommy and my mommy were best buds and our family was very sad to see them go. The years passed by and we stayed connected – but little did we know what would be in store for all of us!

Most recently I have had the great pleasure of getting re-acquainted with this beautiful 25 year old woman when my brother fell in love with her and then asked her to change her last name to “Kelly”.

I remember when I first met Sam wishing that she would marry my brother Chas. For reals! I did! She is so kind and so good, just like Chas. She and Chas share a unique kind of gentleness and a serenity that just makes them so well suited. Kind of like Jane and Bingley in Pride and Prejudice, if I dare to make such a comparison (and I do!). When she moved to Provo last year I called Chas and asked him, “So, Sam Card is in town? Would you ever, you know, take her out on a date?”

I really, really, really wanted Chas to take her out on a date.

He did.

The rest is legend – as many previous posts will attest!

Sam is a wonderful combination of truly great qualities. She is a woman of character and true strength. She has always been willing to take the road less traveled and do the hard thing. Over and over again life has called her down this path and she has walked it with dignity. As she has walked it she has become very, very capable – in the truest and deepest sense of the word. I remember talking to Chas and asking him what it was he loved about Sam and he said, “She is so strong.”

Each one of us gets handed a share of trial and hardship in life – but I gotta say that Sam has really had her fair share. Yet, if you met her, or read her blog, or looked at her artwork, or had a long chat with her NEVER would you sense ANY bitterness. What you would sense is warmth, happiness – even a playful, joyful kind of giddy happiness. You would hear her exuberant laugh. (When she and Chas were first dating I remember my mom telling me how wonderful it was to have Sam around because her laughter would fill up the whole house!) I am so struck by this, I guess knowing a little bit of her background, I find it remarkable that she has found a way to make the ugly things she has faced into beautiful shining gems. Her trials do not define her – they’ve refined her.  She is so much fun and so delightful you would never think for a minute that she had known true pain. She has been able to do what few people are able to do – she has let go of the pain she has experienced. This was, I am sure, a herculean spiritual feat – but Sam is living proof that the Atonement works. By her example she has taught me that God’s love and power are there for us if we are willing to accept it and embrace it.

Sam is very talented. She is always getting scholarships and awards. She is a fine artist (I told you she was fine, didn’t I?) Her work has graced the covers of literary magazines and been hung in hip restaurants. Her work even hangs on my good friend’s wall! She has done really well for herself, in fact she always does well in whatever she chooses to do. She is ambitious and hard working yet she is equally down to earth, easy to talk to, fun to be with and relaxed and easy going.

Here is a little peek at her art work…

Her art work is not only her passion but her profession. She just finished a masters program in art therapy. Pretty cool, no? Personally I love it when any artist is able to make a living off being an artist and doing what you love. Kudos, dear Sammy on that one!

Another peek at her art…

She comes from creative stock – her father is also a wonderful artist and her mother is a talented interior designer. She is the oldest of five girls. She is totally devoted to her sisters and to her parents. They are a family who really love and cherish each other.

Sam also loves puppies – and she is not ashamed to say so! I’m not ashamed to tell you of her love of puppies either – so put that in your pipe and smoke it. She loves ’em! She also loves her dog, Archie – very, very much. Especially when he is wearing converse all stars!

She has a very kind and loving heart.

She is also a blast!

She knows how to be sensible and fun in the same moment. Perfect example: with some of their wedding money they paid off her car loan – very sensible. A few weeks later she and Chas found a great deal on a powder blue scooter and snapped it right up – totally fun!

She is a wonderful home maker.

She is a celebrator. She celebrates the goodness of life. She is also not afraid to celebrate her own accomplishments and I really admire that about her.

She is good to the core. She really gets the gospel in a profound way.

She loves my brother and has made him a very happy man. So, clearly I am indebted to her forever for the happiness she has brought to him and to our whole family.

I really love her a lot.

And I hope she has a happy, happy, birthday!

I’m sure that we are all familiar with the quote from Richard III.

But I have just spent the past week living it.

And I am here to report,

that once again,

Shakespeare knew what he was talking about!

“This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,

This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,

This other Eden, demi-paradise

This fortress built by Nature for herself

This happy breed of men, this little world,

This precious stone set in the silver sea,

This blessed plot,

this earth,

this realm,

this England.”

It kind of makes you wish that Shakespeare had traveled and written about every place on the earth, don’t it?

But this was his place, his home, his heart land — so even if he had I doubt that he would have written about any other place with so much pride and so much sincere love.

This is our place too. And we spent the last week with our people.

All of Jan’s extended Dawson family, gathered in Cumbria for a long weekend. It was truly heavenly.

There were walks, water fights, a treasure hunt, hours spent swinging on the orchard swing & building secret hideaways with the cousins, swimming in the lake, eating great food, there was lots of relaxing and talking and enjoying this beautiful, beautiful place.

The girls were in heaven.

Of course I have a bazillion more photos and I am still trying to figure out how to tell the full story of this week. But I also haven’t slept properly in over a week, have piles of laundry that are patiently waiting to be dealt with, two sick daughters and you know, all the other responsibilities that come with daily living.

So, for now, I am afraid, this will have to suffice.

As my brother Chas put it:

ENO

+

ALI

=

ELI

This little gus is my new nephew. Ain’t he swell?

I can’t wait to meet him!

As he is a New Yorker the chances are good that I will have my greedy mitts on him soon.

My plans include:

holding him, cooing at him, smelling him, kissing him, and generally going ga-ga over him!

Eli’s aunt Nikki and I threw a shower for his mama – which I have yet to blog about, but hope to be able to soon.

Till then, sleep tight little buddy. You landed yourself into one swell family. Your mom and dad ROCK!

And you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a long long flight.

Which was followed by two days of the pukes where mom and dad were up all night!

All of the stinking night.

Jan and I have not yet succumb to the pukes, but Millie and Clara have been doing their fair share of showing us what they have eaten long after it has been digested.

Night before last Clara was up every two hours – puking and screaming.

What a combo!

This was experienced after our 25 hour home bound flight from the UK.

You heard me, twenty five hours!

On May 31st you would have been one year old.

I will be far away from my computer so I have to let you know now that I will be thinking very much of your sweet mommy and daddy on your birthday. And I will be thinking of you; of our tiny baby boy who fought desperately for his strong spirit to have the chance to live inside a broken body, even if it was just for an hour.

Will, you are in a glorious place. I live here in a world that is fallen and has a funny way of measuring worth: beauty, wealth, accomplishment –they have their place I suppose. But a part of me knows better. The deepest and truest part of me knows there is OH, SO MUCH MORE! You are apart of that. Even though many people may not know about you and your valiant, even herculean, effort to live, and even if they may never acknowledge your noble life — I KNOW about it. And I know it was noble, and important and even great. I know you are great, Will. Maybe one of the greatest. And I know that your life matters – it matters deeply to those of us who love you…even people like me, who never even met you.

After you were born and after you died your mommy was so sad she couldn’t talk to me. Your dear Aunt Bellz spent hours talking to me about you. Don’t you love Bellz? Isn’t she wonderful!? She took such good care of your mommy in her saddest times. Oh, she is good!  She told me everything she could about you. She told me about your strawberry blond hair and your perfect button nose. You may not know this Will, but that detail broke my heart. You see, your mom is a nose lover – she really appreciates a beautiful nose. I’m serious! She really and truly does!

I spent a lot of time thinking about your mom after you died. She is one of my dearest and closest cousins and one of the kindest and best people I know. I love her very, very much. Sometimes I was (and still am an idiot) in the ways I tried to help her, but she is so good – she kept loving me as I stumbled along. Isn’t she the very best!? Your mom is one of my heroes. You are very, very blessed to have her and she is blessed to have you.

As I thought about how I could honor your life and honor the love your mother has for you – last year I decided that I would plant “Sweet William” in our garden. In fact, I made a pledge to plant it every year – as it blooms in the month of May, which is your birthday month. Also, your mom is a botanist and she knows and loves flowers! This flower, Sweet William was named after William the Conqueror. There is something fitting about this as I think of you as a conqueror. My sense is that you wanted to live – even if it was only for a matter of minutes. And you did it! Against all those odds. You and your mom and dad got you here and you did it.

Last year I went out in search of Sweet William in June and it was already gone. So this year I started my search in April, and I was too early. Today I went out again and learned that I was too late this year (after going to three nurseries). I was so sad when they told me I had yet again missed your flower! The lady at the nursery looked at me with kindness and asked,

“Is this for something special?”

I had to hold back the tears to tell her,

“Yes, it is.”

She responded,

“I could tell.”

Wasn’t that sweet of her? I felt that was a tender mercy.

I got the closest thing I could find to Sweet William – a flower from the Dianthus family.

Next year I promise that I will get it right.

Sweet William is like you- strong, beautiful, and even fleeting.

I love you, Will.

Please be near your mom on your birthday, if you can. Let her know how much she is loved – both in heaven and on earth.

(a photo of the nearest thing I could find to Sweet William – planted in our back garden)

I fully realize that this child is my blood relation and so this means that I may have a warped sense of reality re: how darling or not he happens to be

BUT

I ask you,

Is this not a beautiful baby?

This kid is killing me!

I had to post a photo worthy of his cuteness as the first one I posted was taken only moments after his birth with an iphone — and didn’t do him justice AND as cute as he looked in that cap and gown — you couldn’t REALLY see him…

….in all his baby splendor!

There.

I have said it.

The doting aunt has spoken (and shown) her peace.

Over and out.

In school Millie has been learning about

METAMORPHOSIS

and last week brought home a furry caterpillar in a little jar with instructions on how to watch and care for this little guy as he became a butterfly.

Millie was THRILLED!

“A pet mom! We have a real pet!”

(she has wanted a pet for a L O N G time)

As I read through the instructions I started to do some calculations – once the caterpillar became a chrysalis we had 10 days before it would become a butterfly – we are due to leave for England before the chrysalis would be opening… we might get lucky and it would open at the last minute… but I was  a bit nervous that she wasn’t going to see the final stage of metamorphosis.

A few days ago I was standing at the bathroom sink. Jan was talking to Millie and mentioned to her that we might be in England before the butterfly would emerge.

She began to weep.

As I listened to the exchange I had a very strong feeling that I should go, right then, and talk to Millie to see how she felt about trying an experiment.

Not of a biological nature but an experiment of faith.

“I believe that God has the power to get that butterfly to come out before we go away. He has all the power. He can move mountains so I know he do this to. What do you think, Mills?”

“Yes, I think so too.”

“Well, let’s start praying!”

So we did. Right then and there. We said a prayer. And we prayed every night for this miracle.

Millie watched the chrysalis VERY carefully.

“It’s turning brown! I think that means it will open soon.”

I didn’t see any changes in the chrysalis AT ALL.

One day we bumped the dresser where the box sat that contained the chrysalis and it jiggled it a bit.

“It’s moving! It’s moving! Maybe it will open right now!!”

You get the idea.

You know what is so crazy about faith – and trusting in God – it is always a leap. You have to walk out into the unknown. You have to trust – and let go. And when you are teaching your children about faith it feels like that much more is on the line.

This morning Millie came running up to me,

“It’s open! It’s open! I thought when I saw it it was a spider’s web but then I saw the wings! It is open!”

“Wow, if it is open then it has opened a full four days early!” I said to myself.

When we got to Millie’s room there is was!

OUR butterfly!

Our little miracle!

I said, “Millie, God heard your prayers! He did it! He gave us a miracle!”

We said a prayer again, in the very same spot where we’d said that first prayer,

and Millie said,

“Heavenly Father, thank you for my butterfly. Thank you that you have all the power and all the blessings and thank you for the blessing that you gave to me.”

Then she ran to tell her dad.

I don’t know what you are facing or what your heart is longing for – but just so you know where we stand – here in Dawesome territory –

We KNOW God is listening.

He WILL bless us – all of us!

He LOVES us.

Just ask Millie!

She’ll tell you ALL about it.

P.S. After all of this we ran outside (some of us didn’t have our pants on) to get our butterfly something to eat.

We spent a minute finding the best flower in our garden upon which our little friend could chow down.

While Clara smelled the weeds…

Life is good!

My brother-in-law, Allan just graduated from Law School.

At Northwestern they have a tradition where your kids can “walk” with you and they will even read off their names too.

When Sum and Allan heard about this they started thinking….and planning….

And what a plan was hatched!

Check it out, suckaz!

My sister Summer managed to get a cap and gown for all the kids (INCLUDING HER ONE MONTH OLD BABY!!) She figured out how to make the cap from some on-line tutorial.

Did I mention that my sister had a baby one month ago — seriously, let the comments roll, people – this woman needs to hear the following type remarks (she doesn’t have a blog where she can post her fine handy work so feel free to gush right here and right now):

“You have four children and your husband is in law school?! You are my hero!”

“You are a total babe! I can’t believe you just had a baby!”

“Say, what?! You MADE the cap and gown for your newborn! Move over Martha Stewart!”

Also feel free to congratulate my brother-in-law for graduating from law school while being the father of four children etc.

HOLY COW! I just looked at the picture again and I can’t decide who is the cutest: that yawning/screaming baby? My niece Khali with her darling pose? Lincoln with his “cool hand Luke” expression? Atticus’ cap looks totally RAD! My sister and her beautiful hair and then the graduate himself, he looks pretty awesome and pretty proud!

It makes sense that everyone should walk – after all they did this huge thing together as a family.

So, CONGRATS to the whole Pixton clan!

Five years ago today my life changed forever

After many long hours of painful struggle, your tiny pink body was handed to me, and you were all MINE! At least I told myself that and I think I even believed it, but as each day passes I am a less sure.

Today you are five years old.

Five.

Sometimes I look at you and feel breathless because you are so grown up and I am not sure what to do!

As we snuggled in bed together tonight I read to you from my patriarchal blessing of the promise that God gave me that if I lived right, in his appointed time you would come to me and that my happiness would be complete.

As I held your five year old body in my arms and watched you fall asleep I thought of my tiny baby girl. I remembered your pinched little face looking up at me.

It was all there – all that spunk and intelligence, good humor, drama, and fun — was packed into that 7 lb body — but I didn’t know you yet. I loved you just as you were but how could I have imagined the joy that you would bring me in time. It was unfathomable and quite frankly, it still is! That there is more of you to know, that we will share more adventures and trials and sorrow and joy.

And today you are five!

As I thought of all this tears came.

As I consider all that you have given to me in the last five years my heart can’t find the words to tell you just how much you mean to me.

Today was a good day…to coin your phrase, we “enjoyed the pink”!

It started with breakfast in bed

as per tradition the breakfast was pink, pink, pink

presents

a birthday surprise

& an adventure

Which lead to

“Black Sky”

your dreams of “pet ownership” fully realized!

more pink (this time frosting)

atop the princess cupcakes for school

and one more cupcake before bed

Happy Birthday, my sweet.

I love you more than I can say!

*

*

P.S. A special thanks to our favorite gentleman callers who stopped by to make the birthday girl feel really loved & gave her gifts even though there was no party. You know who you are and I hope you know that we LOVE you.