Millie claims she loves to help me cook.

But really, I think she just wants to lick the bowl.

Raise your hand if you’re the same.

While making dinner Millie was playing at the fridge with her Cinderella magnets. She plays A L L  the parts from Cinderella and the prince to the the ugly step sisters to the grand duke.

Millie Princess: The gleam in your eyes is so familiar.

Millie Prince: I know, I know! I can’t see well.

Sometimes I wish that we had a digital recorder going all the time to catch this stuff. Of course I would have to edit out a fair amount – like me yelling and swearing – but oh! the treasures we could capture.

They are only four years old and look, already, what’s happening.

Must have something to do with this:

“ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the
image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of
heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and
destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual
premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”

From: The Family, A Proclamation to the World

Man, I love this inspired document. Aren’t we blessed to have it?

Wrote Mr. Shakespeare.

And that guy knew what he was talking about.

As I drove our babysitter home tonight she and I talked about her brothers. She is the only girl in a family of six. We talked about what a mystery a brother is. I had spent the evening with one of my brothers who when we were growing up was a complete and total mystery to me, and as an adult has become one of my most cherished companions. I actually feel this way about all of my brothers. Ive always loved them – but for the first part of my life I felt that I didn’t KNOW them. Now that we’re all grown-ups I think I am starting to get them.

Back me up here if you know what I’m talking about.

I asked this sweet girl, our babysitter, if she ever felt lonely, not having a sister.

She said, “Yes.”

Then I told her about a conversation I had with Millie earlier that day as she and I drove to Staples together:

Millie: Mom, I want you to only pay attention to me not to Clara any more.

Me: Is that right?

Millie: Yes.

Me: Well, Clara is a baby and she needs me. What if she cries? What should we do about that?

Millie: Dad can get her.

Me: What if Dad is busy?

Millie: Well…we can just let her play.

Me: Hmmm. So you want more attention, huh?

Millie: Yes.

Me: Well, I am paying attention to you right now.

Millie: But Clara is asleep.

Ah, SISTERS!

If I know anything. I know sisters.

Mills, it is tough, right now. I get it. I remember searching for ways to get my mom’s attention too. I don’t think I ever came flat out and asked for it – but man, did I try to get it.

The truest and best kind of love, the love that Shakespeare was writing about, runs for years and years over the jagged rocks of “experience” that make up our relationships. The course is crazy – from the times when you put masking tape down the middle of the bedroom to the staying up late and giggling into the wee small hours of the night. When you’re inseparable, then when you can’t stand to look at each other. When tragedy strikes and you find the hope and strength you lack in your sisters’ eyes. Through all these ups and downs the most remarkable  LOVE emerges.

Right now she bugs. And she may bug you for a long, long, time – but the time will come when you wont be able to live without her.

I promise.

Right now you think this is the answer…

But as crazy as it may sound,

this is even better…

Covet thine own child’s wardrobe.

And I don’t, except for when I do…

I love helping get Millie dressed in the morning. I have been trying to figure out why it brings me such pleasure. I think it is a creative act and that is what makes it such fun. I stand at the closet and try to figure out which combination would work together. Like a living puzzle with infinite possibilities. The challenge is that I get one shot at it. I can’t ask Millie to try on a bazillion different combos. Ya know?  So it is the creative endeavor with the added challenge of figuring it out fast and getting it right the first time.

I think most of the time I hit the target. I may be the worst judge of my own efforts but I think she looks pretty dang cute most of the time. There was something special about her in this crazy polka dot number, something extra special, that even attracted her dad’s attention. He was the one who insisted on capturing this particular ensemble on film.

I’m glad he did.

I think this outfit matches her energy and her general ZIP.

“May all your days be polka-dotty and striped.”

are actually pretty dang swell.

1. Your mom makes you “a nest” on the sofa.

2. She sleeps in the bed next to yours all through the night.

3. She makes sure you always have this near you.

4. When you use this bowl, she holds your hair back, rubs your back and tells you, “everything is going to be okay”.

5. When you can’t eat anything your dad goes out and buys a special drink for you.

6. Your once grubby cats, Lullaby and Rosey, get “a bath” in the washing machine and now smell like lavender and vanilla.

I hear tell that some people say a trial can be a blessing.

A gift.

A joy.

What would you say, Mills?

One thing is for sure, your mom and dad love you.

P.S. Is it not cool that a blog post can turn two really hard days into a happy memory? You never thought a bowl used for catching  throwing-up could be romantic, did ya? But right here on dawesome, it is, baby!

P.P.S. Mom, I wish I lived closer so that I could take care of you too. Get well soon, my momma-dukes! Enjoy them percoset while the doctor says they are legal…

Your four year old CAN’T fall asleep.

She really can’t.

(must have been that 20 min nap she took on our afternoon drive to Target, darn it!)

So what do you do?

Scold her after she calls out for you (and wakes her younger sister)?

OR

Say, “What the heck! We’ll make tonight a late night.”

and then you pass her off to her dear old DAD, or as the case may be — Prince Charming.

Next,

Do this –

While watching this –

while wearing this –

And then, this is a MUST, you absolutely must get your “snugs” on.

Make them snugs count, little princess, because when the clock strikes 9:00, you needn’t fear the coach turning back into the pumpkin, but rather Prince Charming will turn back into your dad. And you know what that means.

It means bed time!

Millie had a sleep over last night. It was the first time ever she hosted a sleep over that was just for her. And it was with her beloved “cousin” Esme.

It got me feeling a little nostalgic.

I’ll tell you why.

Once upon a time there were two young, sweet, virginal girls – who did EVERYTHING together.

(No photos of me in my pink sponge curlers, I’m afraid!)

Through thick and thin, through ups and downs, through fun times and lean times and hurt times and happy times they remained friends.

Grew up.

Got married.

And had kids.

Between them, five in total.

ALL GIRLS!

Millie loves Neylan’s girls – but she has a particular affection for her oldest, Esme. About a year ago Mills started referring to Esme as “my cousin” – she came up with this all on her own. And I have tried several times to explain to her what a cousin is, but she wont have it. In her mind she and Es are cousins.

When I found out that Neylan and her little brood were really and truly moving west I thought – a sleep over! We must let these two cousin friends have a sleep over.

And what a sleep over was had!

The party began with the littler sisters getting in the mix. A sleep over has to be earned, and that means putting in some face time with the little sisters, right?!

After some fun with these cuties and a nice dinner together – the little sisters dispersed and two big girls were left to themselves. And BOY were they excited!

They had been begging to put their jammies on since 3:00. Finally their request was granted.  After watching a movie and munching on candy bars their sleeping bags were calling, “ladies, time for bed!”.

After bed-time stories, prayers, scriptures and an impromptu telling of the Wizard of Oz they finally drifted off to dream land…at 10:00 pm!

They woke up BRIGHT and BUSHY TAILED at 5:30 am (you do the math, people – they didn’t get much sleep) and READY FOR FUN!!

(it would appear that these two little apples didn't fall very far from their"mommy trees")

What is the point of a garden hose if you’re not playing with it!? Right!

We consider bubble baths a serious business in this house. We have found that if you mix Mistral (for the scent) with dish-soap (for a hearty bubble) you get the PERFECT bubble bath.

After “swimming” in the tub and pretending to be mermaids, we felt these little amphibians needed something a bit larger where they could really spread their fins.

So we headed to the pool.

Driving dad’s zippy car with the sunroof open and listening to Coldplay, at Millie’s request.

After the pool we headed for home and a little down time.

We rolled out some butcher paper and the girls did “cave drawings”.

Then we walked into town, at Esme’s request, for some ice cream.

We walked around our town center for a while going in and out of shops- the post office, the grocery store and Millie asked if we could go into the consignment shop. I usually avoid this place because it is so hard to maneuver with a stroller, but I was feeling generous and I wondered if we might just find some treasures. I was hoping to find something along the lines of a dress-up.

Treasures were indeed found. And these treasures lead to the most magical part of the day.

White for Millie and pink for Es.

They danced to Swan Lake for a while and then said they needed a real stage. Now those who know me well know that I cannot resist a request such as this. And so I did my best to rig a stage up for them.

Jan provided the spot light.

And then the performance began in earnest.

And what a performance it was! Imagine, two prima ballerinas in one tiny living room…

G L O R I O U S ! Is the only word to describe this performance.

Es has clearly been to the ballet because she requested that we throw flowers at them, and she kept running back and forth from behind the stage only to reemerge to our enthusiastic “BRAVAS”.  Although Millie hasn’t been to the ballet, she was a quick learner.

“Thank you! thank you! You’re too kind!”

It was hard to break the news to them that the time had come for this party to end.

Both girls cried.

I felt sad too. I didn’t want Es to go either. We’d had more than a blast. We’d had MAGIC!

These girls KNOW how to do a proper good-bye, I tell ya.

Just one last squeeze!

There was nothing very sweet about this parting, there was only sorrow.

But as we hadn’t gotten to doing two of the things we’d planned to do – namely making s-mores and having a tea party – the wheels are already in motion to get these two cousin friends together again, before Esme moves to SLC.

I have been very stoic and supportive about this move, but now all I can say is…

DON’T GO!

I stay at home.

I am a stay at home mama.

It is where my heart is.

Is this job hard? Yes, very.

Are there days that I want to poke my eyes out with a blunt stick? Yes, that would be every day.

Do I want to be anywhere else?

NO WAY, JOSE!

Do you ever have conversations with yourself? I do. And recently I have been talking to myself about why I stay home.

Reason number one,

And reason number two,

But seriously folks, I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I have high expectations for these girls. Not just that I hope they get into a good college, I am talking about eternal expectations. I believe that if I do my very best that God will let me be with these girls and their dad forever. That is what I want. So if that is what I want I know I can’t get distracted or snagged by what the world has to offer. For example “a career”. Since when did a career become better than shaping humanity?

Maybe if I had a career my co-workers wouldn’t spit up on me, or whine at me. But I doubt they would ever look at me like this.

And I know I couldn’t plant these on fellow co-workers all the live long day.

(Those cheeks were made for kissing, my friends. Soft as silk. Softer even.)

My baby has teeth (five and counting) and she has started to crawl. Even though these days feel endless, before I know it my baby will have all her teeth and be wearing a prom dress. And I want her to be ready for all this crazy world is going to throw at her.

When the world is swirling around her I want her to know that her mom is at home, waiting for her, praying for her, loving her, ready to help her with whatever she needs.

Trust is built over a lot of skinned knees and tears shed and midnight chats.

See those band aids? I put them on those knees. I kissed them better.

ME.

What a blessing to be a mother. I feel like this is the time that I prove to God that this is what I want more than anything else. If I have to earn the right to do this eternally, I better do it with my whole heart now.

I hope I will be kissing knees better through out the eternities.

To where we went after we picked Millie up from camp…

free clue: that is NOT a goatee