Wrote Mr. Shakespeare.

And that guy knew what he was talking about.

As I drove our babysitter home tonight she and I talked about her brothers. She is the only girl in a family of six. We talked about what a mystery a brother is. I had spent the evening with one of my brothers who when we were growing up was a complete and total mystery to me, and as an adult has become one of my most cherished companions. I actually feel this way about all of my brothers. Ive always loved them – but for the first part of my life I felt that I didn’t KNOW them. Now that we’re all grown-ups I think I am starting to get them.

Back me up here if you know what I’m talking about.

I asked this sweet girl, our babysitter, if she ever felt lonely, not having a sister.

She said, “Yes.”

Then I told her about a conversation I had with Millie earlier that day as she and I drove to Staples together:

Millie: Mom, I want you to only pay attention to me not to Clara any more.

Me: Is that right?

Millie: Yes.

Me: Well, Clara is a baby and she needs me. What if she cries? What should we do about that?

Millie: Dad can get her.

Me: What if Dad is busy?

Millie: Well…we can just let her play.

Me: Hmmm. So you want more attention, huh?

Millie: Yes.

Me: Well, I am paying attention to you right now.

Millie: But Clara is asleep.

Ah, SISTERS!

If I know anything. I know sisters.

Mills, it is tough, right now. I get it. I remember searching for ways to get my mom’s attention too. I don’t think I ever came flat out and asked for it – but man, did I try to get it.

The truest and best kind of love, the love that Shakespeare was writing about, runs for years and years over the jagged rocks of “experience” that make up our relationships. The course is crazy – from the times when you put masking tape down the middle of the bedroom to the staying up late and giggling into the wee small hours of the night. When you’re inseparable, then when you can’t stand to look at each other. When tragedy strikes and you find the hope and strength you lack in your sisters’ eyes. Through all these ups and downs the most remarkable  LOVE emerges.

Right now she bugs. And she may bug you for a long, long, time – but the time will come when you wont be able to live without her.

I promise.

Right now you think this is the answer…

But as crazy as it may sound,

this is even better…

Just the other day Jan was recounting to me about a study, recently conducted, where they discovered that people who muli-task end up doing all the tasks, which they are attempting to do simultaneously, BADLY.

Man, I could have just told them this! (I sure hope they didn’t spend a boat load of money to conduct this study.)

Case in point: ME

The other day as I was helping Millie put a super girl costume together while…talking on the phone, tidying the house, and attending to the needs of my almost one year old baby…In the midst of this flurry of activity, otherwise known as, “multi-tasking” I got distracted and one of the tasks only got half way completed.

See if you can spot which task only got half way done.

I thought for sure she’d crawled out of her diaper or somehow managed to muscle her way of out it.

Nope. Upon further investigation I discovered that the soiled diaper was wrapped up like a little football and  next to it was the diaper which never made it onto Clara’s sweet bottom, right where I’d left it.

Doomed.

That’s what I am!

To multi-tasking mediocrity.

My baby fit the entire state of Kentucky in her mouth!

Surely, that has got to be a record.

At the very least, it should inspire song…

EVERYBODY SING!

“She’s got the whole state of Kentucky in her mouth.

She’s got the whole state of Kentucky in her mouth.

She’s got the whole state of Kentucky in her mouth.

She’s got the whole state in her mouth!”

Dear Clara,

You were hard on your mom, that would be me, today.

There were moments when I kind of wanted to run away.

But I didn’t.

And then you rallied and cheered up a bit.

Thanks for that.

It reminded me of the girl I adore, that would be you.

Here is the crazy part: now, when all is still, it is as though this really hard day we shared never happened, and I miss you.

I told you it was crazy.

Here is the other thing, my sweet baby, I know you love me and you NEED me, but when you are a mom you are never off duty. That is what makes days like this, especially when they are strung together with other long and hard days, so very hard.

Please forgive me for being less then I know I should be.

I really and truly love you.

Love,

Mom

P.S. One small request: could you please work on being a little cuter?!

I L O V E  Y O U !

I stay at home.

I am a stay at home mama.

It is where my heart is.

Is this job hard? Yes, very.

Are there days that I want to poke my eyes out with a blunt stick? Yes, that would be every day.

Do I want to be anywhere else?

NO WAY, JOSE!

Do you ever have conversations with yourself? I do. And recently I have been talking to myself about why I stay home.

Reason number one,

And reason number two,

But seriously folks, I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I have high expectations for these girls. Not just that I hope they get into a good college, I am talking about eternal expectations. I believe that if I do my very best that God will let me be with these girls and their dad forever. That is what I want. So if that is what I want I know I can’t get distracted or snagged by what the world has to offer. For example “a career”. Since when did a career become better than shaping humanity?

Maybe if I had a career my co-workers wouldn’t spit up on me, or whine at me. But I doubt they would ever look at me like this.

And I know I couldn’t plant these on fellow co-workers all the live long day.

(Those cheeks were made for kissing, my friends. Soft as silk. Softer even.)

My baby has teeth (five and counting) and she has started to crawl. Even though these days feel endless, before I know it my baby will have all her teeth and be wearing a prom dress. And I want her to be ready for all this crazy world is going to throw at her.

When the world is swirling around her I want her to know that her mom is at home, waiting for her, praying for her, loving her, ready to help her with whatever she needs.

Trust is built over a lot of skinned knees and tears shed and midnight chats.

See those band aids? I put them on those knees. I kissed them better.

ME.

What a blessing to be a mother. I feel like this is the time that I prove to God that this is what I want more than anything else. If I have to earn the right to do this eternally, I better do it with my whole heart now.

I hope I will be kissing knees better through out the eternities.

To where we went after we picked Millie up from camp…

free clue: that is NOT a goatee

Often when I walk out the front door I notice that I have a goober (or several) on my clothes – you know baby snots, or baby food, a grubby hand print – the regular. By the time I notice it is too late to turn around and change – because the girls are in the car waiting or I quite honestly I don’t have it in me to find something else!

Today as I walked out the door I realized that something even more magical, more strange more…special than the regular baby goober was going on with my wardrobe.

It all began when I put this scrummy little number on. It made me feel…dare I say it? Zippy!

I threw this on Clara (she’d worn it for part of the day yesterday and managed not to get any goobers on it so you know what that means, my friends? Two days of wear for the price of one!)

Are you noticing a trend yet?

Now, it wouldn’t have been so bad but then when you add my purse to the equation

And this baby carrier sling thing (I hardly ever use this but today I needed really it)

I felt like we were ready to take up residence in this place

SING WITH ME!

You’re out of the woods, You’re out of the dark, You’re out of the night.
Step into the sun, Step into the light.
Keep straight ahead for the most glorious place
On the Face of the Earth or the sky.
Hold onto your breath, Hold onto your heart, Hold onto your hope.
March up to the gate and bid it open

That’s right! Clara and I were ready to take up immediate residence in the Emerald City! If we had marched up to that gate and bid it open – it would have swung wide and the people of that fine city would have embraced us!

Now, you all know I like to be a little matchy, matchy with my girls – but even this was too much for me.

Poor Clara had to endure many comments.

And in case you’re wondering, during our errands I left my purse in the car.

That would have just been TOO much of a good thing.

And you know what that means, don’t ya?

Those winter layers are being peeled off and out come the very best thing about summer…

BABIES THIGHS!

Seriously, people! Have you seen anything cuter than this?!

Somebody hold me up to keep me from expiring due to a cuteness overload.

As Jan would say, “MERCY!”

As many of you will know it was Opening Day at the new Yankee Stadium on the 16th of April.

Jan and Ian can tell you all about it.

If you want to know what un-diluted, pure happiness looks like – just check out their faces. (And this was despite the score Indians 10, Yanks 2)

Well here in our quaint town of Madison, NJ we celebrated opening day for our little league.

It was stink’n awesome.

The boys and girls paraded through our main street. It was the only parade I have been to where the people in the parade who throw the candy are also the ones who grab up the candy. Riddle me that one, if you can.

We had great, curb side seats (as in right on the curb) where we cheered on some of Madison’s finest sons, Porter and Braxton Rich. Their lovely mother, Emily, is seated beside me, in her lap is my future son-in-law, Hudson Jack Rich. (He likes the middle name mentioned, thankyouverymuch.)

Afterwords we headed home to play a little ball of our own.

Clara was more of a spectator.

Millie took time out from playing to give the camera some “attitude”

Eno, does this one slay you as much as it does me?! Check out that sisterly affection while wearing the world’s greatest baseball team logo.

Jan doesn’t need any sons to fulfill his baseball needs…

And yes, I was there too