My sister Tess is 19 today. Her last year of being a teenager. Crazy, huh Tess?

I have posted many times about Tess as she was living with us last Summer. Here, here, here and here.

But if you’ll permit me, I would like to tell you a bit more about her. Because, to be frank, I love her. And celebrated she must be!

I have very vivid memories of Tess’ arrival to the earth – and as I tell you some of these details I think you will see why they are still so close to my heart…19 long years later.

I remember my mom going off the the hospital. I remember Cameron trying to crack jokes as she climbed into our mini van. My mom was so focused on the labor that she didn’t even hear him. He and I watched as mom and dad pulled out of the driveway and Cam mumbled under his breath, “I was so stupid! That didn’t help at all.” I remember lying in my bed that night – my twin bed across from Summer’s – with an unexplainable feeling of unease. I felt that something was wrong. Why I would feel such a way was a mystery to me. Tess was the eighth child to join our family. I usually felt only anticipation and joy in these circumstances. So this darker feeling felt so wrong to me.  I was relieved when we got the call that the baby had been born and that all was well.

But the uneasy feeling remained.

Tess came home and was a delightful baby – but still, the feeling persisted – and finally it got to be so bad that I spoke to my mom about it. Because my mom is a rock star of a mom she listened and she did something about it. Imagine that, giving that much attention and credence to a 13 year old girl. She spoke to my dad and he gave Tess a blessing. He said that as he blessed her he could feel power flowing through him to his tiny baby girl.

A few days later my mom took Tess to her one week doctors check up. She hadn’t always been this diligent with getting her newborn babies to the pediatrician. At this appointment the doctor heard a murmur in her heart. This was the beginning of a time that my mom describes as otherworldly. A waiting time. Everything stopped – although the world carried on around us – for our family everything stood still.

There were problems with her heart. Big problems. A surgery would be needed and fast. The future was uncertain. Mom and Tess moved into a hospital room which they shared with another family who had a baby with a sick heart. A baby who died.

A friend at church came up to me in the hallway and asked me, “Is your sister going to die?” I don’t think he was being callous, I think he just wanted to understand. We all did. For the first time in my life it hit me: babies do die.  I mean I knew this in a cerebral way – but I had never really had to face this awful reality. Some babies really don’t make it and would my sister be one of them?

Here is the craziest part. As all the horrible reality of her serious health condition came to light – the uneasy feeling started to leave – and another feeling made its way into my heart. A feeling of peace. I still remember how it came.  I was in my bedroom thinking about my baby sister – in the hospital – praying for her, and wondering what would happen. I was putting something away in my closet and I felt the most beautiful peace wash over me. I felt that my grandmother’s spirit was standing next to me and the message that came to my heart was “everything will be fine.”

I am here to say that message was true.

Tess is still with us.

And Tess ROCKS!!

She is a beautiful contradiction.

Of all the kids in our family Tess is, by far, the most social. If you had told me this when she was little I wouldn’t have believed it b/c she was so painfully shy. But now, she has a billion friends. I can’t keep track of all of them. She has an ease with people. I think she doesn’t judge people by what is on the surface. She really sees them for their whole selves and she loves the best in people.  She doesn’t sweat the small stuff. She takes life as it comes and really enjoys it. She is really laid back and yet she is totally responsible. She has FUN. She just knows how to have good clean fun. People are drawn to her.

As a little girl she was the MOST SHY of any of us. She would hide in the closet when company came over. When she got dressed for church and be looking her very cutest she didn’t want ANY attention. “Don’t look at me!!” She would say in complete earnestness. She was incredibly self aware and a bit nervous.

These days I’ve often wondered, “Does Tess ever worry?” I mean, she must. But I don’t think she worries very much. She just goes with the flow. If she has been asked to go to a dance – she is always so busy with other things she doesn’t mind my mom going out, and picking the dress out for her. Talk about NOT sweating the details!!   And yet she feels things very, very deeply. In the few times when I have seen her let her emotions out – it is like a tidal wave of deep, deep feelings. The waters may seem still but under them there is  movement, energy and mystery.

When she lived with us, and was helping me with the girls, I was really impressed by how even tempered she was. There were times when I was under pressure and very uptight. She just rode out all my passionate responses to the difficult situations with kindness and calm.

She enjoys life. She works at making positive changes in her life. She listens to advice and takes it to heart. She is appreciative and kind. She is hard worker.

She is also NUTS. In a good way. She knows how to have fun! And LOTS of it!

We also call her the niece and nephew whisperer. She is so great with the little kids in our fam.

She is such a good sport. She is a great listener. She is a great contributor (although as a kid she somehow always managed to get out of working when we were all cleaning up the house together). Oh, and one legendary thing Tess did along these lines was, once in primary, they were making Christmas coupons – where the kids would write down what they would do to serve and help and then the parents could redeem the coupons as needed. Tess famously wrote in the blank,

“I will help my mom and dad_____________” she filled in the blank by saying “I will help my mom and dad open soda.” Nice! So nice to know that when those soda cans needed opening Tess would be there to help the process along. My mom loved this so much that she left this little coupon taped to the fridge for months.

As a little girl she was VERY forthright. She just said it however she saw it. Sometimes this worked for her and sometimes this worked very much against her. Once someone tooted and as a tiny little girl she said, “Somebody smell bad!” She was right. And it was so funny. We borrow her saying to this very day in our family – when somebody smells bad.

(May I suggest you click on this photo to get a good look at Tess’ expression. It is SO Tess at that age! – somebody smell bad and she ain’t going for whatever it is that Brynn is offering!!)

Tess is very tech-y. She is a whiz when it comes to the technical side of life. Oohh! How she appreciates a good gadget and boy, does she know her way around a computer.

Tess is something of a romantic. She loves the romantic movies – and the cute boys. Despite the fact that she is rather no-nonsense she is still rather girly. The heart that beats within her – that heart that was saved – is full of feminine sweetness.

It is heart full of love for her family and friends.

A heart full of joy and wonder.

A heart that has embraced the gospel of Jesus Christ.

It is a heart that I adore!

Happy Birthday, Tess!

How can I ever find the words to express my gratitude to God that your life was spared.

That your heart beats on.

And that we get to enjoy you every day – and even take for granted your light and goodness.

I love you, little sis. Happy, happy birthday to YOU!